Fail like a Champ
August 23rd, 2020
If you're anything like me, you're going to mess things up. Not all the time, of course. But it's inevitable, we can't be perfect. (I'd contend that being perfect isn't a worthy goal, but that's a topic for another day.)
When you find yourself taking a loss, what do you do? How do you make the most of the discomfort? I have a rough plan for dealing with failure and coming out the other side a little wiser and hopefully, a little better for next time.
First, remember failure is a diagnostic state, or an opportunity to look around and take stock. Chances are your actions were largely correct, but you missed some key detail. Take the time to figure out what it was: an unclear goal, a lack of resources, or poor timing. The clearer you are about what didn't meet your expectations the better. It is easier to plan your journey if you know exactly where you are now and where you are headed next.
Second, honesty is your friend, even brutally so. If you didn't put in your best effort, or give your project the attention it needed, then say so, especially if you didn't want to face the fact. This point links very closely with the first, but the key here is that honesty should not involve any judgement to color the fact. Not achieving your goal on your first (or hundredth) run through does not mean that you're a loser or you deserve this result. That my friend is too too far. Park your judgments, and forgive yourself a little. All learning is difficult, otherwise you'd know everything already.
You might feel low at this point, remember why you started. Was it to stretch yourself? To hit a new project milestone? To earn more this next quarter? Or build the esteem of those you care for? Those motivations and positive emotions are still there, so ignore everything else and focus on whatever it takes to get you to the finish.
The time is finally here, you've been following the shape of the valley, had a hard look around at what happened, reached the nadir when you reflected honestly about where you are and what you need, now you're ready to rise: it's time to follow through. A new iteration on your last plan, one that's more clear about what's needed and where your headed rises from the ashes. Because, what point is there dealing with the uncertainty, discomfort and brutal honesty if you're not going to put together a new plan and execute? You are almost there, hold steadfast.
Building something, learning a new craft and any other form of self extension is going to be messy at times. Remember that you are tough and you are capable. Ride the valley and follow through as many times as it takes. Your victory is only a few miss-steps away.